I need a wig, bigger trousers & a stiff drink

Rumor has it, we are buying a house.

But we aren't talking about it.

I can't remember the last time I slept more than 4 hours straight.

My hair is falling out.

I am not sure if the night sweats are brought on by anxiety or menopause.

I may be suffering from a perpetual heart attack, brain aneurysm, or early on set dementia.

Please don't ask what my cortisol levels are.

I am living on breakfast cereal, good (birthday) chocolate and Mt. Dew Lemonade.

The plan has been expedited by about 6 months, which means that I am frantically trying to pay off the rest of our credit card debt- and getting really close!

If this works out we will be moving about 10 days before Hanukkah- blessedly not a commercialized, present-y holiday like all Gentiles believe it to be. But that means, that the commercialized, Holiday cousin is right there, too.

Hip, hip, hooray for the inter-faith Family!

Let's hope this doesn't go down in a raging blizzard.  

    

Elsa- Quick, Cheap & easy

The Royal Princess asked to be Elsa for Halloween.

I don't know about you, but I don't have the $$$$$ laying around to outfit my munchkins in store bought costumes.

If I can't make it at home or get it really cheap on Amazon, then there has to be a 2nd choice.

In less than an hour, for less than $10, using only basic sewing skills, this was quick, cheap & easy Elsa dress.

Supplies:

Tank top 1 size too big 

enough material to make a tube skirt

enough material to make the cape/train

glittery ribbon

fray check

Sewing machine & thread to match

Let's Go!

Firstly, get your filmy cape material, & after guessing at the dimensions needed ( leaving extra to gather at the top to make it flowy), douse the edges in fray check (remember to put cardboard under it!)

This will keep your seams from coming unraveled later.

Hang your cape somewhere to dry.

Find a good tutorial explaining how to make a tank top dress- it is almost the exact same thing!

Using the same idea, make a long tube skirt, & attach to your tank.

Remember- right sides together!

When your cape is dry, gather along the top edge & pin to your tank. Eyeball it, just anywhere that looks good to you.

Using a quick needle and thread, hand stitch the cape to the tank.

Cut your glittery ribbon to a length long enough to cover your handy work- leaving enough at the end to tuck under.

Sew.

You are almost there!

If you have ribbon left over, & everyone agrees- add some around the waist.

Ta-Da!

Toss  some white long Johns underneath for a toasty finishing touch!

Milestones

Buying a house is like buying a wedding dress-

regardless of what you or anyone else thinks you should end up with,

you will instantly know it is the one.

Buying a house is also like childbirth- even if I grew that baby for 10 months,

 I still couldn't even fathom it, until they were here.

If I was ever on Jeopardy: Here comes the Bride Finale or how I messed up the Fall holidays, for $600

Well, what we can take away from the last 6 months, is nothing really ever goes according to plan, so when it does, it's a very pleasant surprise.

This is not that kind of story, though, I suppose everything worked out in the end, and so that really qualifies for a happy ending.

The short version- we ended up being unable to travel out of state for our Friends wedding  :(

But, no one died, so win!

Long version- 

The week before we were supposed to leave, our beloved GPH came up lame with some blood clots in his lungs, & our Aunt Lady, preggo with #3, was encouraged to hang out near home due to some health complications (read about it here!)

But it all worked out in the end, & the kids were able to wear their snazzy clothes for 

Erev Rosh Hashanah, when you are supposed to wear fancy new clothes anyway.

That is where it started down the hill.......

What is wrong this picture, you say? Look closely at the water pump with Henry's thumb stuck in it.....

Sorry, going to be late, son is stuck to water pump.

There was a brief parting of the the clouds when these little morsels of yum turned out.....

But, by then I had been cleaning house & children, cooking & running around a-l-l day.

By the time we made it to Temple that evening, the kids were absolutely wired & I was absolutely exhausted.

Somewhere along the way, they all decided they were getting chilly & tired (it was cold & late)

so the obvious answer, was to pile on Mom. 

Later, the Rabbi asked if I had liked her remarks, and while I am sure I heard something, I was busy not dropping sleeping children- who of course woke up for the Oneg.....

By the time we got home it was almost 11.......

Rosh Hashanah morning dawned bright & early!!!!

Husband had work stuff, so he trotted off before I so much as moved, which left me with an entourage & hours of religious service to get through.

So we played a drinking game.

The Temple has a lovely, big pipe organ & choir loft. Since we only use the big sanctuary for the High Holidays, they go all out- everything is spit shined, & a choir is found.

When you only do this once a year, you really make the most of it, & if you pay for a choir, darn it, you want to hear it.

When you are a small person, or the parent of a small person, you really wish that they could speed up all the lovely singing and include a toe tapper.

If you are me & trying to survive, you hand your children a piece of fancy organic Apple Honey candy every time the music starts (bonus for at least keeping with the theme!)

Along about 2 1/2 hours in, I got a little cocky. There were only a few more pages in the Machzor- the finish was in sight.

I had been invited to the Bima to read a prayer for our country & congregation.

I didn't die, throw up, or mess it up too terribly, but this left certain people unattended.

I am pleased to say, no one got up, ran around, or screamed inappropriate things.

Was fairly certain at this point that I was winning.....

George felt otherwise. 

Bubble bursted.....

Moving on, because there are plenty of Fall Holidays to mess up.....

Yom Kippur

While not a horrible blunder, one that would cause the Rabbi to sigh like she does so often when I mess things up-

Mary wore the (formerly catholic) family 1st communion gown.

It worked out nicely, that her bestie was wearing a formerly-also-Christian white dress, though we could never settle on which event.

Also, I finally got my toe tapper in Oseh Shalom, & may or may not have have been excited to hear that big organ rock out (my exact words).

Because there is still more.....

I have never really understood why the Jews felt the need to tack on another holiday, but they have.

Sukkot

something of a harvest festival, requiring you build a three sided tent with an open top, in which you can recline to study Torah, & eat your meals- preferably with people you have invited over.

Someone (me) had the wise idea to get the local Jewish community together for a shin dig, for which we required a Sukkah (tent)

We tried-

Having actually never done one before, for being exhausted & for being out of Jewish Holiday money, it's really not too shabby. Do all of us a favor & don't google the  pretty ones.

But, we all survived. I can't say that anyone has a particularly revived spirit for the New Year, but it's safe to say, that we all have a wonderful sense of accomplishment for having made it.

Matisyahu: We'll take it

My parents have 6 grandbabies, 4 of whom share a birthday week. In the years past, we have tried to separate the birthday celebrations, but with the recent addition of #4 after a dramatic pregnancy, we were either in hospital, just too tired, or both.

This years cake shared by #1, 2 & 4, reads  'Happy Birthdays'.

Lucas (#1) & Henry (#2) celebrated their birthday adventure together by being hip, & young at a Matisyahu concert.

Matisyhau is about Henry's most favorite musical person currently. So we were all really excited!

The concert venue was a really cool city block, with a bar & grill on the North side, the open stage on the South side, and picnic tables spread here & there in the middle.

It was really great to be able to get yummy food (I could swim in the hummus) & have access to a real toilet, on such a nice night.

The downside to being hip & young-

 I saw westboro for the first time in my life. Amazing, considering that I lived in Kansas, where they sadly have originated, for 22 years. It was a great chance to talk to the boys about hate & how much G-d loves you bunches.

There were pot takers. I am proud to say that doing drugs was a deviance that I avoided. Not once had I ever knowingly been around anyone taking pot, or anything else.

Young people in love.....I can remember being that age and totally ambivalent to anything going on around me, but my time was before twerking & gyrating became common place.

The opening band, funnily enough, was called 'Radical Something'. I spent a lot of the evening referring to them as 'Radically Something', as in, I know there was a 2nd word, but I couldn't remember it. If I was less old, and significantly more hip then I ever was, maybe I would have enjoyed their music more. They seemed to be big fans of certain words & certain fingers, that gave my Mommy heart palpitations. I didn't have enough hands to cover 4 eyes or 4 ears at once- thankfully, I think the boys missed most of the words. They were very peppy & energetic performers, specially enjoyed by the drunk Jimmy Buffet Grandpa behind us. 

Then this happened------>

And it was magic!

The music was great, even better when it was a song that we recognized.

As far as performers go, I was surprised by the amount of not talking. There is usually a friendly banter going on between songs.

Having only been to concerts featuring country acts after rodeos, & never having been to a reggae rap show before, maybe that's just how it goes. I don't know.

There was a funny exchange when the drunk guy in the back started yelling for a song that had been done already.

Somehow we made it to the end. Both boys were done in, & it was way past bedtime. Henry's poor feet, even in his new fancy shoes, were pretty achy. 

I kept encouraging them for just 1 more song, just one more. 

& we made it!

Matis finished his song, & walked off stage to wait for the encore. Because of the section we were in, we were able to go around the corner, right where he was- just separated by a chain link fence. I knew we weren't going to hang around by the buses to meet him, so I did the only thing to be done-->

I pushed Henry up to the fence & shouted, 'This is Henry & it's his birthday!'

Then the clouds (of smoke) parted and Matisyahu came up to the fence, & I thought Henry was going to fall over.

& in what seemed like slow motion, he reached over the fence, shook Henry's hand and wished him a happy birthday.

Time stopped.

As the Mom, I would have given my spleen to have Henry's song played, & a picture of them together.  

But, to have those 3 totally engaged seconds, probably could never have been topped, & I don't think anyone who witnessed the interaction will soon forget it.

Thank you to everyone who made this such a special night!