Gooey Orange Tree Squids for $100

It has been very, very rainy here of late & aside from the regular myriad of suck that comes along with that much rain (ie: MUD), we had a funny thing happen on the way to the forum......or in my backyard, which some days is the same thing.  

We were invaded by:

GOOEY ORANGE TREE SQUIDS 

which were later determined to be, in fact, 

CEDAR APPLE RUST SPORES

Which still sounds intergalactic.

While enjoying a brief ray of sunshine on my deck, during a deluge lull, 

it appeared that the pine tree, nee cedar tree 

in the far back corner, a ways away, 

was being parasitized, by what I thought were large bag worms- also common this way.

So, I got off my lounger & hiked to the back 40.

Up close, there were no bag worms.......

& I said to myself, 

"Self, you aren't in kansas anymore".

Upon googling the obvious,

Gooey Orange Tree Squid,

wouldn't you know that several similar pictures popped up 

& I was suddenly less worried that:

A. We were being invaded

B. Koosh balls actually grow on trees 

Then, Just because one of the perks of Missouri is a

 GREAT Conservation Department 

That will answer any nature related query,

I emailed them.

& No joke, 

I got a response back in less than 24 hrs,

by my local & professionally trained agent.

Super cool.

Hello, thanks for the email regarding your evergreen tree

Thanks for the good picture.  Yep, this is definitely cedar apple rust, a fungus.   

This fungus goes from cedar to fruit trees and usually only causes issues with the fruit trees.  But the fungus can be controlled on the fruit trees if needed.

As for it being poisonous – specifically to chickens I wouldn’t be able to say.  Sorry.  However, I’ve had chickens myself and have cedar trees in my yard with the fungus on it and never directly noticed a chicken getting sick or dying – but that’s just my general observation.  If the tree is small enough and you can reach the limbs you could pick the little growths off – which would help your tree and maybe reduce your concerns for your chickens.

They are fairly common but don’t occur every year on the same tree.   The knots or growths can kill the limb from that point to the tip but usually they are harmless to the cedar.  However the fungus is a bit more of an issue for fruit trees – especially apples. 

Like I mentioned if you can reach them, hand picking before they produce the orange gel is a good way to reduce their effects on either tree.

The orange ooze you are seeing is the reproductive spore stage.  The spore is really light weight and can be carried for miles on the wind.

If you have anymore questions, feel free to stop by or call my office at .................

Death must be genetic

I recently applied to a grad school program for death counseling/suicide prevention. That may seem a little dark to some folk, but the truth is IT happens, often & every day.  

The topic of my entrance essay came up today & I was asked to share the important parts.  I have been known to overcome my natural shyness & get long winded (worded?) occasionally.

Just a quick back story before we dive into it- when Dad started at K-state, he was Pre-Vet, but it was quickly apparent that wasn't going to work out & he was encouraged to take one of those personality tests that comes back with the field best suited to your particular skills & character, etc.....His results suggested either undertaking or finance, & I am not exactly sure how those are related. He ended up going with business finance, but maybe the death part was genetic? 

Without further ado, a brief portion of my essay------>

My dad, who is a pretty smart guy, always said that two things, maybe three were certain in life; birth, taxes, and death. Growing up on a Kansas farm there was ample opportunity to observe all three. Dad always made death a normal, though sometimes sad, part of life. He would dig the grave, lead a lovely grave side service, my brother, sister, and I would toss in handfuls of the dirt clods, and then we’d go for a meal or ice cream- because misery loves snacks- and we’d spend time reminiscing about the dearly departed, no matter how big or small. The real winner was the year my brother learned to play the trumpet, and provided a lovely rendition of taps for a goldfish’s burial by sea (toilet flush), which worked out for all of us as it was a pretty chilly January day, and the ground was very frozen.

Dad’s teachings carried over to human funerals as well. Being part of a large family, it was inevitable that there would be comings (births) and goings (deaths) fairly often, once again the great circle of life.  I began to notice that everyone grieved a little differently, and in their own way. Some, very openly, and some not. Some loudly, and some not.  Some could accept when a grandparent passed at a very advanced age with peace, while others would barely be able to recover. Though, we all agreed that a young person passing was about as horrible as anything could get.

I also realized, that not everyone had had the same upbringing. Not everyone could accept death as a part of life. And, thanks to modern medicine, and the cultural shift in WASPY America, death is no longer so visible. Out of sight, out of mind. Many people are no longer face to face with death until it’s starring them smack dab in the face.

       -----------TO BE CONTINUED----------

A Tale of Two Nurses

There were in fact significantly more then two nurses involved, but it just sounds nicer.

Also, DISCLAIMER, 

I have the upmost respect for nurses. They work long, sometimes thankless hours, 

& have to put up with joyful people just like me. 

So, here goes.

Because deep down I'm 6 years old, I had to have tubes put in my ears.

While it was discovered I have very desirably straight ear canals, that is where anything good can stopped being said about my ears.

My dearest dad was called upon to chauffeur me 

& being the good sport he is, always the Ethel to my Lucy, he came through again.

Per the usual when left to my own devices, we arrived at the hospital 15 minutes early, 

& of course, per their usual, they were running behind.

I do feel it's only fair to point out that this was very early on a Tuesday following a Monday Holiday, or what I like to lovingly refer to as Pretend Monday.

& Not all of us were allowed coffee

& some of us who could, really, really should have.

& Everyone involved except for dad really should have made use of the available sedatives.

When we finally got back to pre-op, my assigned nurse(s) was(were)  having what I can best describe as a rough day & it was just beyond 8 a.m.

I tried to be pleasant, & offered witty banter that was immediately swatted down 

as crazy-pants rushed around 

& I kid you not- called someone to ask for back up, 

repeatedly hollering into the phone that they didn't have enough staff.

A few things: while my mothers disagrees, I feel like I'm pretty unflappable 

& remain calm per the situation. 

   Also, like a wasp with a horrible poker face, I like you until I don't & you'll know it.

I was ready to jump ship at this point.

But it gets better.

Then came the old hospital gown, & the instructions to remove everything, 

leaving only room for the Holy Ghost.

Ummmmm. NO.

Some of you might have a hard time believing it, but deep down I'm pretty modest about my stuff.

They were not getting me out of my undermost layer.

& were much dismayed over it. 

assuring me that they were mindful of my personal modesty.

& finally trying to convince me there was a chance I might have an accident under the anesthesia

 & would be forced to wear wet pants home.

Oh, friend. 

I've had 3 babies, with rather large heads.

I don't cough, laugh, sneeze or jump & on the off chance I do, there's a spare pair in my purse.

I'm a mom, I come prepared for anything.

But, I really think my favorite part was when she was quizzing me on my pain tolerance.

HER: On a scale of 1-10 how high is your pain tolerance?

Me: Ummmmmmm

HER: When do you reach for the Tylenol or Advil?

Me: Ummmmmmm I don't use those.......so?

HER: But when?

Me: I don't know, 10?

HER: That's equivalent to someone having their leg cut off with a chainsaw.

Me: I had natural childbirth more then once & on purpose?

HER: Not possible, pick another number.

Me: Ummmm 7?

HER: Better.

Because really, why don't you just tell me what would end this, please.

Then, came the IV.

No surprise I disagreed with Satan's choice of  vein for the IV, in my lower fore arm

& at this point was somewhere between crying & leaving.

Me: That vein will either blow, or be very uncomfortable.

HER: Well, too bad.

(it didn't blow)

HER: you can put your arm down, I'm done.

Me: Ya, that feels like my leg being sawed off, I'd rather not.

& Then blessedly she left, 

but not before chucking a copy of patient rights & responsibilities  at me, to include a lovely paragraph about respecting religious & moral beliefs....

-------END NURSE 1------

Like a breezy ray of sunshine, enter nurse 2

BROOKE

Everyone should be like Brooke.

She smiled, she was happy, she made me feel like it was all going to be okay.

Our time together was short.

After Brunhilde had made me feel so horrible about staying covered, I apologized to the surgery team about having to work around my underthings, you know what they said?????????

WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE

even if in their minds they wanted to strangle me, or accidentally drop me  off the table.

They were lovely & reassuring. 

So to Nurses Brooke & Shauna, & Anesthesia Andy

Thank you.

& Just like my last words, I'll bring you cookies.

I'd also like to acknowledge the  recovery nurse, I never did get your name, Thank you for the tissues.

I don't get sick after anesthesia, but Lord if I don't have a good cry.

I've been reassured many times that my hearing will return one day, 

& the kids are pretty tickled that I can blow air out of my ears now,

But given the option to do this in the hospital again, 

I'm going to seriously rethink having it done, awake in the clinic & use my high pain tolerance to experience my ear drum being numbed- something described to me as being stung by 10,000 wasps. 

I like wasps, & chainsaws, just not unfriendly nurses. 

G Fuel, won't kill you: an unboxing

Because of my allergies & everything else, I have to be 

(or I'm supposed to be.....)

 very careful about what I eat & drink.

But, I 'm finding in my old age that I need a 

little bit of something

 in the morning to get up & running.

  & of course there is a lengthy list of traditional morning bev that are on the No-No list 

& for the most part I choose to ignore it,

 fall off the wagon & feel like death.

Sometimes, I try to get on the wagon

 & go for the current fad coffee replacement 

& those have  tried to kill me too......

After trying one of those well know peppy drink mixes this summer & feeling like my heart was going to beat out of my chest, both from caffeine & price, I decided there had to be a better way! 

So, I did what I do.

I googled.

I amazon-ed. 

I read reviews. 

& I found.......

It's funny to me that after all these months, after finally liking all their social media, the G in G Fuel, stands for GAMER! 

If you know me, you know I fairly well loathe video gaming  It's a bad word.

So, I'm going to dwell in my ignorance 

& pretend the G stands for GREAT.

The short version of a long story that gets us to the point: my most recent amazon order got lifted off my porch. I was sad. 

I emailed GFuel, because amazon was being 

shady about fixing stuff. 

& they sent me a replacement order, & some groovy samples! 

It comes in a boring brown box.

with boring brown paper.

There are no frills, & this is clearly not marketed to girly-girls.

No floofed sparkly tissue to be seen.

I do like that all the packaging is super 100% recyclable 

& not wax/paperboard.

These 40 serving tubs retail for about $35, which if you do the math is less than $1/serving.

(you can make a custom sample box to try flavors, 

or have handy single serves)

I couldn't get a good picture, but the included scoop has a built in funnel so you don't spill it everywhere if you are adding to a bottle of H2O.

What I enjoy the most, besides their excellent customer service, is the taste! 

We can all agree that sometimes "supplements" can be chalky & have a horrible after taste.

OF the 5 flavors I've tried, 

I'd have to say I agree with the reviews 

that compare the taste to Jolly Ranchers.

They offer a wide variety of delicious & popular favorites- some caffeinated & some not.

There is something for everyone. 

& I am super excited that the artificial sweeteners used don't give me a raging headache.

Cup by COOL GEAR

FIND IT HERE

• 0 Sugar - Unlike our “competitors” who rely on loads of sugar to provide you with a false sense of energy, we don’t – Which means zero “crash” 

• Energy Complex - Caffeine is a natural stimulant consumed worldwide. The primary benefit is that of cognitive function stimulation - Essentially giving your mind a "jump start" when it needs it most

• Focus Amino-Fortified - Our addition of a focus amino provides you with a unique edge that most other drinks on the market cannot

• Packed with Antioxidants - Just the right balance of antioxidants that work in tandem with our vitamin complex to promote healthy cell production

• Vitamin-Fortified - Our formula contains the perfect combination and subtle ratio of 

Vitamins C + E + B12 + B6

Cheater Enchiladas

Work Smarter, Not Harder 

Who remembers a time when they could sit & watch any TV show they wanted without

A) any distractions

& 

B) having cable (is that still a thing?)

I can remember the afternoons of the Food Network- 

Rachel Ray, Alton Brown, & my personal hero-

 Sandra Lee, of Semi-homemade Cooking.

I have previously mentioned the long line of

 cookingly challenged people  I am descended from, 

& it must be genetic. 

No ones gotten food poisoning lately, so that is an improvement.

Reheating is my game.

This magical creation comes to us, because I forgot to thaw out the roast for the crock-pot......

The crock-pot that is meant to make cooking easier- 

no muss, no fuss.

No lie, I struggle.

If I do manage to thaw the meat, 

I either forget to plug the darn thing in, or turn it on.

On those really special days, both.

Fortunately, I do plan meals for two weeks, 

& keep a stocked pantry....

which brings us to 

CREATIVE COOKING

& That, I excel at! 

Because it's stupid, never ending, freezing, arctic winter, 

I have been keeping the freezer full of quick & easy stuff 

the kids can eat 

(ie: blow through like starved wildebeest) 

on the never ending snow days. 

Also, I've received constructive comments 

that pictures are appreciated. 

So, in breaking with tradition, there will be food pictures.

 TO DO or TO NEED

1 can of enchilada sauce of your choosing 
Frozen burritos of your choosing
Cheese, also of your choosing
A baking dish 
An oven 
(though I wonder if these could be microwaved in a pinch?)

Step 1- put a layer of sauce into the bottom of the pan, before you put in the burritos.....

Step 2- Put the burritos back into the prepared baking dish.

Step 3- more sauce

Step 4- If you are using a glass baking dish, make sure the oven is cold. If you put a cold pan into a hot oven the glass can explode. Don't ask me how I know........

Step 5- AFTER putting your pan into the oven, heat to 375 & bake until burritos are hot & sauce is bubbly (potentially 35-40 minutes)

Step 6- Turn oven off & sprinkle your "enchiladas" liberally 
(or not) with your cheese.

Step 7- let rest in oven until cheese is melted (about 5-7 minutes)

That's it kids. 

Gourmet enchiladas.

They might not impress company, but they'll feed growing boys.

The night my daughter made moonshine

Just Kidding, shes 10.

Separately, she did make some glittering soap....

Back to the point.

She did ferment rice water.

But not to drink. 

Maybe you've seen things floating around about 

FERMENTED RICE WATER HAIR RINSE

or, like me......not.

The baby woman is suddenly on a quest to grow 

her usually bobbed hair 

into long flowing Rapunzel locks.

There has been much YouTube watching of

folk, home & pretty random remedies.

This one was not

1. expensive 
2. or
3. overly smelly 
4. or
5. hazardously flammable (ie: counterproductive)

You can google the specifics, but apparently fermented rice water is acidic 

& that balances the PH of the hair. 

Also, obviously the water would absorb some of the starch, which we can assume would coat the hair, helping to prevent breaks, helping it to grow.

It was also suggested to pair with a vigorous scalp massage 

(pssst! that increases circulation = increases growth)

& as we learned, a few squirts of this starchy goodness to the roots, really perks them up- be it through bulking them up or freezing them like hairspray.

I don't really care about the particulars.

TODO

Firstly, find the spray bottle you will be using. 

Friendly reminder, if you want to add some essential oil so you don't smell like cooked rice, you need either a glass bottle or stainless steel. 

Bottle from GROVE COLLABORATIVE
Thanks MOM! 

Fill the bottle up, measure the amount, & pour into a bowl. 

add 1/3 the amount of water in rice.

she used jasmine, its what we had.

Cover & let sit overnight, up to 24 hours, agitating occasionally.

Drain your fermented water into a sauce pan, bringing to a boil for 3-5 minutes, let cool.

Funnel into your handy-dandy squirt bottle.

add some essential oil you like

(She picked citrus )

That's it. Spray hair liberally. Comb through.

Look like you paid a whole bunch for a blow out.

I found conflicting next steps- some said to use like a mask & wash out after 15-20 minutes.

Others said to use like a volumizing, root boosting hair spray, leaving in for the day/s.

I don't know that it will necessarily help, but I'm not worried about her hair falling out either.

BEFORE 

AFTER

I was so surprised how this actually turned out, I wasn't planning to take pictures.........

But, I thought it was too amazing not to share.

Sarah's Magical Soup : Creamy Chicken & cheesy tortellini

First of all this was a total team effort, kind of. 

& friendly reminder, for a cooking post, there won't be pictures.

No ones food ever turns out like the pictures, so, pressure off.

Someone posted a creamy crockpot chicken recipe on facebook, & it looked delicious. 

& then, today someone mentioned chicken noodle soup 

for the cold weather. 

& a light-bulb!

RECIPE-ish

one sweet onion diced

2 whole carrots, washed & chopped 

2 TBS butter 

carton of chicken stock or broth 

2 cups of water

small can of cream-o-chicken soup, undiluted 

1 block of cream cheese, you pick the variety, softened

shredded chicken, canned or otherwise or not at all 

Tortellini, as much as needed

TO DO 

add the diced veg to warm stock pot, with butter,

 over medium heat,

to soften 15-20 minutes, stirring as needed.

Add in stock or broth, simmering an hour until fragrant. 

add the rest & boil as needed to cook tortellini.

season to taste!

salt, pepper, garlic, parsley, etc.......

Feel free to add greens :)

Be warned though- 

children who were happy to eat all these things previously

will boycott 

because:

They don't like chicken soup

There might be potatoes 

There's chicken  

There could be veg hiding 

(All very real possibilities, except the soup,

 it is in fact soup, but since when??)