Dear Bill People, please stop sending them, I want to buy a house in this lifetime, and you aren't helping!

So- We are trying to buy a house. Not a specific one, any house will do. But, anyone having ever purchased, or tried to purchase a house knows what good fun it is. P.S.- that is blatant sarcasm, a bold face lie.
It is nerve-wrackingly, horrible. Like the feeling that you have to vomit, and know that at any point you could spew chunks every-which-way. Or, pass out, hitting your head and leaking what brains you have left
 e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. Those brains that haven't voluntarily evacuated your cranium for all the paperwork filling out.  Because, that is, physically, how it feels.
I am convinced all those commercials you see and ad's you read claiming that you can be approved for a home loan in 5-7 business days are an out right scam. I thoroughly empathize with anyone trying to adopt a baby, because that is the only other (happy, hopefully) life process that requires so much money, dedication and ink pens.

We are six weeks and $300 in so far, into this house stuff. $300 I have magically made appear. But, now I am out of genie dust, and we got another whopper of a medical bill, for Husband, in the mail today. So, please, Dear Bill People, knock it off already! We have to live somewhere, help  girl out, would 'ya?
Yes, a total first world problem, what with not having to decide which street corner to set up our cardboard box.


So, there you are...we are elbows deep in paperwork, both good and bad, trying to stay upright.

Just so we can have more, larger bills......Home Sweet Home!