Stick 'em up! Its SCIENCE afterall

I promise there is a point to this, and we will get there sometime......
      Last week, my trusty Father (GPH), was head chauffeur, toting my oldest nephew to and from a super neat space camp, requiring them to traverse Kansas City highways during both morning and afternoon rush hours. If you do it right, it's not bad,but when you do it wrong, you wind up as a talking point for GPH.
When asked what the main difference between riding with Mimi and GPH, Nephew replied that riding with Mimi was, "Are you warm/cool enough? Do you need a snack/drink? What about a new toy?", and riding with GPH is all, " Don't go fast or follow too close!".
Which is true. I think Mom (Mimi) is still working out the trauma of her Gege making her brother and sisters sit on the curb to eat drive-thru hamburgers.

I love my Mother, a lot. She is about the greatest Mimi ever.


This weekend she and GPH came up, for a number of reasons, and they brought her precious babies presents. She brought them......cap guns. The real kind, with the paper rolls of caps. And, then she told them that they could hit them with a hammer when they got tired of shooting each other- which was about as soon as they could find a hammer. When that got old, they figured out how to pop them between their fingers and thumb ( it only burns a little!)

Tonight, Batman wanted to know if we could see what happened when we set a cap strip on fire. Being the Mom that I am, I shut that down pretty quick. No explosions here! Only responsible adults here!! Even if it does sound pretty cool...
So, then, Batman says...." Let me get my journal, we can call  it an experiment! It's SCIENCE, after all!!"
This boy should be lawyer, with that kind of argument.


Me: "Dude, we can't blow up the house, record it our journals and call it science."

What is, how Christmas ruined our American dream & it was 3/4 my fault

We didn't get the loan.....after 30 days of hard work, by many people, we didn't pass and it was mostly (all) my fault, but I am blaming Christmas- which is just no fun after you grow up. Stupid Christmas! Stupid Commercial Holiday!!

For the last 13 years I have lived outside the family nest, never once have I ever missed a rent payment. Never. We own both our cars. We are working to steadily pay off our student loans and credit card debt, which is really saying something for the amount of income we (don't) have.
    *Shameless plug for Obamacare- we now pay about $100 a month to insure our family of 5. It's a high deductible plan, but we (4 of us) are in fairly good health, and thankfully we don't need to use it often, and it will be there if we do crash and burn, pun intended. Saving us $200 some dollars a month. It might not sound like much, but to us, it's golden.*

I thought we were finally getting ahead.............

I knew it was Christmas. It wasn't a surprise, it happens at the same time every year. The last few years, I have tried to go about it very systematically. I pore over the toys adds, find the best price and together, Husband and I try very hard to make a list. I try so hard. But, I just couldn't squash the joy in Husbands heart, and we went over budget, significantly- even though we probably spend way less than the average family/per child. It's rare that Husband actually gets to spend any of the money that he works hard to provide. After bills, groceries, gas in the cars...poof, it's long gone. I just couldn't tell him no.

 So I traded our Barbie Dream Home for some holiday happiness when we just didn't have the money to pay the electric bill and it was delinquent, and it was pretty much my fault.
Hindsight is 20/20, no?
There is no one else to blame. Husband has no idea what our budget and bills are, and I don't think he wants to know. He says he trusts me to handle it. Fumble on 1 yard line.

This year for Christmas, ironically when we can re-apply, all I want is a loan. I think someone needs to write a catchy tune  about it, that one about teeth seems to have caught on! 

Matt Foley, come back! IF you need me, I will be living in a van, down by the river....

Matt Foley, the great American icon, once said something along the lines of, "as a happy youngster, you think that you will take the world by storm!". And, he was right.

Mr. Foley, goes on to say, "then you grow up and realize how badly it sucks." And, it does. Not all the time, no Debbie Downer here, but being an adult that has to make real decisions that will influence other people sucks, a lot, often- they don't tell you that one in, 'Everything I need to know about life I learned in Kindergarten'.

So, if you need me , we will be living in our van, down by the river......

A happy coincidence.....go get the busy bee!!!!!!!!

So, if you have been following along, then you we have a new bundle of joy. Our Mimi and GPH (my parents), like all good grandparents showered the newest with presents-to include a busy bee!

Backing up, one of my favorite movies of all time is 'Best in Show', a satirical comedy based on several different dogs and their people, all hoping to win, you guessed it, Best in Show, from Christopher Guest and friends, who are also responsible for 'a Mighty Wind' and 'Waiting for Guffman'. All are a must see, if you are in need of a laugh.
I especially kin to BIS, after having been raised showing dogs. Not the hoity-toity fancy kind, but I suppose one dog show is as kooky as the next, and there is always a group of whack-a-doodles that take things a bit to seriously, like our good friends here........

And that, is why I laugh so hard when I shout at a child to go find 'busy bee'!

I was once told the saddest stories have the happiest ending.......

One of the very few things I remember from High School is from drama class. I am not sure why I was in drama class, I'm not really dramatic at all ;)

But, this memory- the teacher said that a good drama will always have comedy, because the two will offset each other and make the emotion stronger. If the ending is happy, which this one is, then the sad parts will make the conclusion that much happier.

      Popeye Avengers story, just by the nature of his birth, is a pretty sad story. It all starts with him being the middle child, a dreary place to be. The middle child is not special like the oldest or the youngest. Rarely will the middle child do anything first, and rarely accomplishes anything sentimental- like the baby does. They usually get hand-me-downs: clothes, toys, shoes, teachers, etc.... being the middle child is like it tasting like chicken, or being beige, and often, being, lost in the shuffle.

Popeye Avenger has been asking for a dog for years! The Royal Princess asked for a dog and had Chubby Puppy 3 days later- she also has possession of the cat and the fish (RIP). Batman has commandeered the farm dog, Jon, as his own. Leaving Popeye dog-less. Yes, he could have adopted Lucy as his own, but she isn't a child's dog.

Not in the way that she will eat their face off, but more like she appreciates the crumbs they drop, but would really prefer no one ever touch her, while spending the day on the bed- preferably under the covers. She doesn't play anything ever, rarely gets up to shenanigans, and here lately smells like the horse poop she is so fond of.  

We, meaning I, need another dog like we need another child, like another hole in the head. So I have been carefully monitoring local rescue websites since November, knowing that the perfect dog would surface and dreams would come true. And we waited, and waited and waited.....

Finally at the end of March the local Human Society had a little Heinz terrier puppy brought in as a stray. I know it's cliche to say he was a darn cute puppy, but he was a darn cute puppy! We had to wait the requisite  72 hours and then  present ourselves as candidates. For a bargain of $80 we would get a sweet, fully vetted, in need of a home dog, complete with new puppy smell. But, here is the catch- if any other people presented themselves as candidates, then there is a drawing- no matter how long you have been sitting in the parking lot waiting for the shelter to open, no matter how long you have been sitting in front of the saddest chain link pen promising this baby that he will never have to spend another night here, no matter how many plans your excited human children make, no matter how many heart-less middle aged women that come in- there is a drawing. It was a sad van ride home....

The shelter people did commend me on my well mannered children and how well they seemed to handle the disappointment, but I guess they couldn't hear the sound of little hearts breaking over the all the ruckus.

Popeye, though, undaunted, continued to ask  about a puppy of his own. Since never has it been so hard to find a puppy! Anywhere!

Until today..........

Mia is a 6 week old GSDx ( German Short hair pointer x black dog) dream come true puppy. It is/was $0.50 corn dog day at Sonic- which I think would qualify today as the greatest day ever.

A boy + his dog=let the shenanigans commence!

Dear Bill People, please stop sending them, I want to buy a house in this lifetime, and you aren't helping!

So- We are trying to buy a house. Not a specific one, any house will do. But, anyone having ever purchased, or tried to purchase a house knows what good fun it is. P.S.- that is blatant sarcasm, a bold face lie.
It is nerve-wrackingly, horrible. Like the feeling that you have to vomit, and know that at any point you could spew chunks every-which-way. Or, pass out, hitting your head and leaking what brains you have left
 e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. Those brains that haven't voluntarily evacuated your cranium for all the paperwork filling out.  Because, that is, physically, how it feels.
I am convinced all those commercials you see and ad's you read claiming that you can be approved for a home loan in 5-7 business days are an out right scam. I thoroughly empathize with anyone trying to adopt a baby, because that is the only other (happy, hopefully) life process that requires so much money, dedication and ink pens.

We are six weeks and $300 in so far, into this house stuff. $300 I have magically made appear. But, now I am out of genie dust, and we got another whopper of a medical bill, for Husband, in the mail today. So, please, Dear Bill People, knock it off already! We have to live somewhere, help  girl out, would 'ya?
Yes, a total first world problem, what with not having to decide which street corner to set up our cardboard box.


So, there you are...we are elbows deep in paperwork, both good and bad, trying to stay upright.

Just so we can have more, larger bills......Home Sweet Home!

Let's Learn: Mezuzah

Where-in a Mezuzah (cover) can be a  Menorah, but all Menorahs cannot be Mezuzah (covers). Or as the great Dr. Sheldon Cooper said, and I quote, " All Jacuzzis are hot tubs, but not all Hot Tubs are Jacuzzis".

                               A mezuzah (Hebrew: מְזוּזָה‎ "doorpost"; plural: מְזוּזוֹת mezuzot) is a piece of parchment (often contained in a decorative case) inscribed with specified Hebrew verses from the Torah (Deuteronomy 6:4-9 and 11:13-21). These verses comprise the Jewish prayer "Shema Yisrael", beginning with the phrase: "Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is One" A mezuzah is affixed to the doorframe in Jewish homes to fulfill the mitzvah (Biblical commandment) to inscribe the words of the Shema "on the doorposts of your house" (Deuteronomy 6:9). Some interpret Jewish law to require a mezuzah on every doorway in the home apart from bathrooms and closets too small to qualify as rooms.^[1] The parchment is prepared by a qualified scribe (a "sofer stam") who has undergone many years of meticulous training, and the verses are written in black indelible ink with a special quill pen. The parchment is then rolled up and placed inside the case.

~Thank You Wikipedia

So in fact, this all started with a Mezuzah cover..... I spent last evening trying to share knowledge with a New Jew on the Block, who was refusing to understand the words coming out of my mouth. She was very adamant that it was both a Menorah and hanging on the door post, but not a Mezuzah. It was about 4 inches tall, blue and had little yellow flames, was secured with screws at the top and bottom.
There is very little doubt in my mind that it looked any different, and while in fact it was shaped like a Menorah, it is, in real life a Mezuzah cover.

They come in a variety of shapes, though the sizes are all about the same. They can be fancy , or simple, depending on the materials used.

See, all Mezuzah (covers)!

While a cover is relatively inexpensive, it's the scroll (Klaf) that goes inside that will cost you the money.
Tradition states that the Klaf must be inscribed on a certain paper, by a certain scribe, containing certain words, so that it is Kosher. And that, friends, costs the dollars!
There are some places you can also find the scroll on-line and print in the comfort of your own home.
A newer thing, and neater in my opinion, is to have a blank scroll that can be filled in with your own prayer, your wishes and hopes for your family, or can be signed with good wishes by the friends at the house warming/hanging party- you have 30 days to hang your Mezuzah on a new house!
Or, you can be like me and write out the verses on your door post in green washable marker. They are there, I know they are there, and can be easily erased when we go. ( leave a Mezuzah if the new family is Jewish, take it with if they are not)

This ancient symbol speaks to us of our need to live by the words of Adonai. We affix the mezuzah to the doorposts of this house with the hope that it will always remind us of our duties to one another as members of the Household of Israel. May the divine spirit fill this house--the spirit of love and kindness and consideration for all people.

              ~http://www.reformjudaism.org/practice/prayers-blessings/hanging-mezuzah

While slightly rambling and only slightly nonsensical, I think those are the high points!
ps- and like all celebrations before, now it's time to eat!